


None of my business? Try me.

by rstlss



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: A lot of killings, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Beta Concept Art Amity Blight and Beta Concept Art Luz Noceda, Blood, Cover Up, Crimes & Criminals, Dont need to, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, F/F, Flirting, Gay, Guns, How Do I Tag, Human Amity Blight, Knives, Murder, No Smut, Odalia Blight Being an Asshole, One Shot, They're like 20 here but still in uni, also, but just a quick one, dont know how to, just like that seven eleven fic but with my twist, mafia, more characters soon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:55:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29883504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rstlss/pseuds/rstlss
Summary: Business is slow for Luz and Eda until a certain green-haired girl entered the store...with blood on her shirt.
Relationships: Amity Blight/Luz Noceda
Comments: 17
Kudos: 142





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i just had an idea and here it is from a prompt that goes like
> 
> "is that blood on you are you trying to hide a body"  
> "that's none of your business"  
> "bitch that's literally my business"

“Ugh. Business is slow as usual. No customers,” a tall Afro-Latina with a red beanie exclaimed throughout an empty shop.

“When did it become a problem?” a pale older lady with a grey mane answered, and to be fair, the Afro-Latina has a right to complain considering that their location is literally secluded in the neighbourhood with only a sign that says “convenience shop” by the door.

Also, she is already the co-owner of the shop so she has that going.

“Shifts are becoming more boring, Eda,” the Afro-Latina exclaimed. “It would be fun if we can get our gears going. Nobody is literally coming in,” she added.

“Don’t feel too bad about it, Luz,” Eda said as she ruffled Luz’s hair who has leaning by the register. “I can confidently say, from my years of experience, that this is the most normal we can get: still open.”

Luz just gave Eda an unimpressed look, but ultimately sighed and drooped. It is really a miracle that they are still open (well, not really since the items are overpriced enough to keep the business going and that some of the supplies aren’t necessarily bought). It’s not really a great store, but it’s enough to get by. Poor lighting and management are the staple of the business, but not poor enough that can violate humanitarian protocols. It’s just like a busted down version of a gas station shop put into a building, located inside an alleyway with almost zero to no indication that it’s actually there.

The pay’s nice, though so that’s that.

Luz just continued guarding the register as Eda went to the back to take a nap. Being a shop that opens 24/7 is such a hassle, but it’s compensated for the fact that people rarely go there, giving them some time to actually rest mid-shift. Once they both slept for 10 hours in the middle of a shift and not once did the bell ring.

Okay, so maybe it’s not that bad considering they can rest.

However, just as about Luz was to doze off on the counter, as the shop door opened, the bell chimed, alerting her.

“ _A customer?_ ” Luz thought.

She tried to focus on the door, and she saw a familiar figure, surprising Luz.

Green mane, gold eyes, and a killer glare---that’s Amity Blight, albeit wearing darker clothes with combat boots rather than her usual pink dress with black leggings and sneakers. An acquaintance of Luz, considering that they go to the same school, and that they had a sour introduction at one of their minor subjects.

The rich girl, the sophisticated one. A dangerous woman. Her crush.

At least, that’s how Luz would describe Amity Blight.

“Ahem!” The sound shocked Luz that she actually fell behind the counter.

“Sorry!” Luz simply said as she quickly stood up and fixed her beanie.

Luz was so lost in thought that she didn’t realize that Amity was already by the counter, holding a few large cloths, a heavy duty soap, some bandages, three yards of rope, a gallon of hydrogen peroxide…

 _“Wait a second. Hydrogen Peroxide?”_ Luz thought, prompting her to take one more look at Amity, and then it occurred to her the reason why Amity’s fit is different from her usual style.

The green-haired girl looks agitated. She’s breathing heavily as if she had done some heavy work, also complemented by the fact that her hair is looser than usual. Her dark denim jacket has a few cuts, but none of them cut through her black undershirt. Other than her clothing, she noticed something rather unusual with her.

Her eyes are close to bloodshot red, a cotton in her nose, a few bruises on the face and the knuckles, and most importantly…

“Blood…,” Luz thought out loud which prompted the shorter green-haired girl to slam all her items on the counter and grab Luz by the collar, catching Luz off guard.

“If you would so much call the police right now, or even tell anyone, I will not hesitate to add you to the trunk,” Amity threatened with an extremely sharp scowl.

 _“This is sooo hot,”_ Luz thought.

“Okay, fine, don’t worry. I’m sorry,” Luz quickly said, holding her hands up in the air rather calmly.

The shorter girl took notice of the calm demeanour as she released her grip which didn’t really drop Luz because there wasn’t much change of a height elevation, but Luz got the point.

Luz immediately started checking out the items, and after a while she put them in a bag to give to Amity. Amity just simply glared at the tall Afro-Latina first before deciding to get her items.

“Noceda, right?” Amity asked with a glare.

“The one and only,” Luz replied rather calmly as if there’s nothing unusual about Amity at the moment.

“Not a fucking word,” Amity threatened as she snatched the bag and slammed a hundred-dollar bill by the counter.

“Keep the change,” Amity said as she turned around to walk to the exit of the shop.

“Murder or self-defense?”

Amity halted, surprised.

“With a weapon or not?”

Amity still didn’t move.

“Planned or not?”

Amity still has her back towards the counter as she tightened her grip on her items.

“None of your fucking business, Noceda,” Amity scowled angrily.

“Oh, please, try me,” Luz simply said as she jumped over the counter, making Amity even angrier and annoyed.

Amity quickly dropped her items to draw out a bloody switchblade from her back pocket, immediately closing the distance between her and Luz with the blade by Luz’s neck.

“Do you have a death wish, Noceda?” Amity threatened, however not gaining much of a reaction from Luz.

In fact, Luz was smirking.

“Okay, so with a weapon. I’m starting to think that you killed someone with like a toilet or something,” Luz said with a chuckle.

“What’s so fucking funny, Noceda?!” Amity shouted as she pushed Luz towards the counter, blade still by the neck. Luz continued chuckling until she met Amity’s eyes with a determined and smug look.

“If I guessed correctly a part of what happened, can you remove the blade? I promise it gets better,” Luz offered, earning a skeptical look from Amity who didn’t budge.

 _“I guess it’s guessing time,”_ Luz thought.

“You met up with someone in order to dispose of somebody else, and when you did so, you immediately realized that the person you met with decided to also dispose of you as well, which failed to hide the first body and adding up a second one, so for the first question, the answer was murder and self-defense since you’ve ordered a lot of cloths for just one person,” Luz said calmly, earning a surprised look from Amity, but Luz wasn’t finished.

“Not only that you’re cleaning off some blood but you’re cleaning of smell and traces as well alongside with some medications to make it look like you just encountered an accident because it was supposed to be discreet but ended up making a mess, prompting you to kill with a weapon on an unplanned occasion,” Luz continued as Amity continued to become silent.

“Am I correct?” Luz said asked playfully, earning another angry and annoyed look from Amity.

“Are you a fucking private detective or something? A contingency by that fucking bastard?!” Amity shouted as she tried to lacerate Luz’s neck, but Luz simply shook her head as she pushed the blade off gently with three of her fingers.

“Nope. We literally are hiding from them considering the multiple health protocol violations we have down here,” Luz replied.

“What the fuck are you? This is litera-fucking-ly none of your business!” Amity shouted as Luz.

“Actually, this is literally _my_ business now since you bought so much things,” Luz said with a giggle, as she gained her composure again as Amity loosened her grip. Luz dusted off herself and fixed her beanie.

“We are what they call ‘janitors,’ and we kinda specialized in the thing you’re doing right now,” Luz said proudly, earning a confused look from Amity.

“Janitors?” Amity asked very confused.

“Basically when someone gets killed, we dispose the body discreetly and perfectly. No trace, no problem. So, where’s the body?” Luz said and asked as she picked up the items, earning a more confused look from Amity.

“What the fuck, Noceda,” Amity said.

“Eh, happens to the best of us,” Luz shrugged.

“Do I have to pay you for this?” Amity seriously inquired.

“ _Well, I’m already down one rabbit hole. What’s wrong with adding another one?_ ” Amity thought.

“Hmmm…normally we do,” Luz said, however turning around with a smug look.

“But since you’re so cute and what you did to me was hot, I’m giving you a lifetime 100% discount on that,” Luz continued with a smile at the end, making the green-haired girl flustered and embarrassed.

Amity groaned and sported an annoyed face as she stomped towards the exit and bumping Luz.

“You’re lucky I like you. You might have been dead if I didn’t,” Amity said, making Luz blush a bit.

“ _Holy fuck that’s fast,_ ” Luz thought.

“Very well, then. Just follow me outside if you’re really such a professional. I’ll wait for you to prepare,” Amity said as she exited the door.

Luz was left alone by the door, smiling and grinning stupidly as she giggled to herself in triumph. As she celebrated, she quickly grabbed a pair of rubber gloves, and tied her hair into a bun, hiding it with her beanie. As she was doing so, Eda came back by the counter from her nap, looking surprised to see Luz in her fit, but eventually gave her a knowing look.

“New customer, huh? Alright, kid, do it properly. I don’t want to get in another tangled mess from them,” Eda said, earning a chuckle from Luz.

“Nah, Eda. I think this might be a regular,” Luz said, astonishing Eda.

“Huh. Not bad, kid. At least business is back. Okay, you know what to do. I might have to close up the shop for a while,” Eda said with a smirk.

“You got it, boss!” Luz said as she got her things and went outside.

Eda just snickered and snorted at what happened, but at least it’s better than the boring façade of a convenience store. She went around the counter as she closed the lights and covered the windows. Lastly, she went outside towards the sign and flipped it before coming back inside.

**“ _STORE CLOSED INDEFINITELY_ ”**

The janitors are back in business.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amity recalls last night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE it's a Mafia AU  
> brush your teeth then boom orange juice that's life

It wasn’t supposed to end up like this. It was a straightforward job with straightforward instructions: dispose of the witness, get out unnoticed. It’s supposed to be easy considering that she’d done similar jobs a million times already. A clean disposal job, nothing else.

“ _ So why the hell was there an attempt to get me killed? _ ” Amity thought.

Amity shivered at the thought as she sat behind Hexside’s bleachers at lunch time, fiddling with the loose thread of her dress. It isn’t new that her…profession…requires a certain amount of risk that may mean life or death, but managing to survive by the skin of her teeth, especially from being attacked by one of her own, is always a startling experience.

Her insides were squirming at the thought as she lost her appetite to basically do anything. She brought her knees by her face, hugging them as she closed her eyes to wait for lunchtime to finish.

“Anything you need _ , princesa _ ?”

Amity widened her eyes by that voice as she shot a look towards the source of the voice.

_ “Noceda…,”  _ Amity thought as she remembered last night’s events.

* * *

_ “Huh. I didn’t expect two grunts for your first clean up,” Luz said as she opened the trunk of Amity’s car. _

_ “Will you just shut up and do your job,” Amity said with her arms crossed, to which Luz just scoffed at. _

_ “Alright. Just help me get them out,” Luz said, making Amity roll her eyes before deciding to help anyway. _

_ “You might need these gloves first,” Luz added as she threw the rubber medicinal gloves towards Amity; Amity successfully caught them and immediately wore them. _

_ They dragged the bodies out onto the pile of cloth that are laid out on the ground. Amity prompted to pull out a saw from the trunk. _

_ “Woah, not that!” Luz exclaimed, confusing Amity. _

_ “We clean up bodies, not tamper with them. We’re just gonna clean them up for now so that they don’t continue spilling blood. Also you might have left some evidence along the way,” Luz explained as she examined the body. _

_ “Isn’t it easier to just burn them?” Amity suggested. _

_ “Of course it’s easier. If only there is just an easily accessible incinerator just around the corner that wouldn’t alarm anyone 10 feet away that a body is being burnt. So now we resort to creatively burying them for good,” Luz replied at the same time she noticed the mark on one of the grunt’s neck. A mafia symbol: The Poison Cloud. _

_“_ ** _The_** **_Poison Cloud? Aren't they part of Amity's group?_** _” Luz thought as she glanced at Amity, who’s pacing around impatiently, for a moment._

_ “Anyway…,” Luz started carefully, feigning cluelessness. “What am I dealing with here?” _

_ “What do you mean?” Amity asked rather agitatedly. _

_ “Underground group? Mercenaries? Hitmen? Scary occult that kills people for fun and they poorly hide the fact that they did so?” Luz asked playfully as she stood up to get some body bags in the backseat. _

_ “Where did the last one came from?” Amity asked suspiciously. _

_ “Eh, sometimes you meet people,” Luz replied with a shrug, closing the backseat door to go to the bodies. _

_ “Why do you wanna know?” Amity asked in a challenging tone. _

_ “Maybe you have a request of sorts. We always prioritize our client’s wishes in accordance to our client’s profession, or at least that’s what our business manual says,” Luz replied, carefully cleaning the bodies of any marks and traces. _

_ “Business manual?” Amity asked. _

_ “You’d be surprised how organized our business model is,” Luz shrugged. _

_ Amity went silent after this, examining the handiwork of Luz. She noticed how intricate Luz is in her cleaning, albeit her face is ridiculous as she sticks her tongue out to focus. She noticed how Luz was able to spot little strands of Amity’s hair that she didn’t notice were able to be caught by the clothes of one of the grunts. _

_ She noticed how…experienced Luz is. _

_ However, before she can even point this out, Luz managed to stop to breath and started to speak. _

_ “You know, it’s really nice that you showed up. Makes me feel human again being able to work on my expertise and all that,” Luz managed to say, almost as if pre-answering Amity’s question in mind. _

_ “We were actually very active back in the days. I may be young, but Eda taught me everything I need to know about this business, considering I was an orphan,” Luz continued. _

_ “I’m sorry,” Amity said out of empathy. _

_ “I appreciate that. It happens to the best of us, I guess. But still, I’ve spent some time enough for mami to teach me core values of kindness, so I got that going,” Luz ended, continuing to clean the bodies as intricately as possible. _

_ Amity remained silent as she leaned by the car, crossing her arms, and after a while, she was mumbling something softly. _

_ “I’m sorry, what did you say?” Luz asked as she stopped cleaning the bodies to listen closely. _

_ “Mafia…,” Amity softly said, not necessarily surprising Luz, but she was hoping that  _ **_The Poison Cloud_ ** _ is just a coincidence. _

_ “A part of or a target of?” Luz followed-up. _

_ “I’m…not sure anymore.” _

* * *

Amity looked up to the towering beanie-wearing Latina with an unimpressed look on her face.

“What do you want, Noceda,” Amity asked with a sting in her voice.

“Woah, is that a way to treat the girl you like?” Luz said teasingly, earning a scowl from Amity.

“Fuck you,” Amity said, looking away from Luz.

“Well, anytime,  _ princesa, _ ” Luz winked at Amity as she sat beside her, making Amity blush profusely. Amity just looked away from Luz, feeling troubled as Luz reminded her of last night.

She was supposed to be killed by her partner and she doesn't know why.

"Is something troubling you, Blight?"

Amity sighed as she looked at the head-tilted beanie wearing Latina, who's looking at her with such concern. Never in her life she expected that her super duper secret crush would look at her like the way Luz looks at her closest and only friends whenever things are rough.

There's something about her kindness and her being a "janitor" that oddly fits well.

"I don't want to involve you," Amity pensively said, earning a chuckle from Luz.

"The moment those bodies were hidden under that unsuspecting boulder, I'm already more than involved," Luz said as she stood to position herself to the still sitting Amity.

"I know you now work for your own mafia rather than an asset that is guarded," Luz said, causing Amity to quickly look at Luz, fear in her eyes.

"And I'm guessing they want you dead---or at least your mother does," Luz added. Amity only became more annoyed as this is the second time she guessed right, and it's freaking her out, especially that last part on which Amity didn't even try to entertain.

She wants to ignore it so badly, that her mother is involved in some way, but when Luz pointed it out, she couldn't anymore. The only rational explanation for her ambush was because somebody wants her dead, and that somebody who can control even her crime partners is no other than Odalia, the Blight Queen, herself.

Her own mother.

"The fact that you guessed it right is creeping me out. I'm beginning to question why I have this crush on you," Amity huffed in annoyance, looking away, prompting Luz to give her a curious look.

"Well, I'm surprised that you don't know that we used to serve your Mafia."

This caused Amity to widen her eyes in surprise, looking at the Latina.

"And I can confidently say that Blight Queen will really do everything to be in power, even killing her own family," Luz stated.

Amity didn't know anymore. She hated that woman her entire life; she despises her still. She would rather kill one Odalia Blight than live a life in killing spree. It should be easy, it really should.

" _ So why the fuck am I tearing up? _ " Amity thought as she felt tears by the corner of her eyes, but she dared not to cry. She couldn't cry, especially about her mother, but she can still tear up and never know why.

"Hey," Luz said as she held amity by her shoulder.

Amity wanted to say something, but her voice wasn't coming out because she was so dumbfounded by her own predicament and reaction, but Luz wasn't exactly waiting for a response.

"It might be really confusing on what you're going through, but trust me, I will help you on whatever you're planning about it," Luz said with a soft smile, causing Amity to let out a half-chuckle and half-sniffle, releasing the invisible lump inside her throat.

"Are you really this cheesy, Noceda?" Amity laughed at the absurdity of things.

"You like it," Luz cooed, giving a teasing look to Amity, causing Amity to laugh more, Luz following shortly after.

They eventually settled down before the school bell rang, signifying the end of lunch period.

"Oh shit, I still have class now," Luz said as she stood up quickly to run as fast as possible, but she was stopped as her wrist was grabbed by the shorter green-haired girl, causing Luz to look at her curiously.

"I might need to avail your services again soon, but you have to tell me exactly everything you can offer later after school at your place, got it?" Amity said with such a command in her voice.

Luz was giddy inside. This may not be the crush interaction she was expecting, but in all honesty for Luz, this professional criminal relationship that they have is a hundred times better already.

"Sure thing, ma'am."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise surprise!!!! it's bound to have a continuation 
> 
> hope you enjoyed this lumity interaction


	3. THE JANITOR'S MANUAL - PART 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Janitor's Manual - The Basic of Basics

**INTRODUCTION:**

Greetings! If you are reading this, then you have accepted the position to be part of the discreet Janitor crew of the underground world. Whoever contacted you and where you’re taken shouldn’t be your concern. Your job is to be discreet above all else, and that meant being discreet with your fellow janitors. You are not expected to:

  * Get to know your colleagues;
  * Announce this to your family members or relatives;
  * Put this in your experiences in your future resume;
  * Disclose any information about the job or our clients to other people;
  * Be a normal janitor in non-underground corporations.



Violation to any of these will result to your extermination and complete silence.

**WHAT IS AND MAKES A JANITOR?**

A Janitor of the underground, much like a normal janitor, in technicality, cleans up the mess of other people. The only difference is that this job deals with corpses and crime scenes made by our clients EXCLUSIVELY. This job requires the following traits for our recruits:

  * Discreet (can do things covertly)
  * Good at acting (can put up a façade)
  * Physically able (can do heavy duty works)
  * Observant and Quick-witted (can assess situations as quick as possible)
  * Necessarily preserved (can focus when necessary)
  * Willing (can train for years and stomach the sights)



Lastly, a Janitor is first and foremost human with objectively good, not necessarily right, values. They should have beliefs that would benefit both their clients and the innocent bystanders around them.

**WHO ARE OUR CLIENTS?**

For classified purposed, this manual shall not explicitly say the names of our clients, but what this manual can offer is that our clients are exclusively regulars only. This job does not accept one-time offer jobs, much like a janitor for a company building.

**WHAT SERVICES CAN WE OFFER?**

Services we DO offer:

  1. Disposing of bodies discreetly in any way necessary yet humane;
  2. Erasing traces from crime scenes that can lead to DNA testing;
  3. Collecting evidence for our clients;
  4. Destroying evidence in any way necessary yet covert;
  5. Regular "clean-up" in our clients’ places



Services we DON’T offer:

  1. Killing our client’s targets;
  2. Arson and the likes;
  3. Killing our client’s rivals;
  4. Get-away driving;
  5. Stealing, robbery, and the likes;
  6. Dumping corpses on someone’s home;
  7. Butchering corpses;
  8. Vandalism on innocent territory or corporations;
  9. Manpower for shootouts;
  10. Any services that our clients should do.



**Author's Note:**

> based on the janitors from john wick where they clean up bodies lmao
> 
> not a oneshot anymore ;)))


End file.
